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The Lost Love Letters

" To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek him the greatest adventure; to find him, the greatest human achievement.”

St. Augustine of Hippo

It's been years since Brenda had a conversation with her dad. Before he left, he said he would write to her or give her call. She waited by the phone for hours, days, weeks, months.... Nothing! Every day she would walk down to the end of her driveway to look into an empty mailbox. "Where is he?" Brenda thought to herself. "Why hasn't he reached out to call me?" He left one evening after her mom and dad were fighting. They never officially got a divorce and the breakup was bad. Brenda remembers all of the yelling and screaming that took place before he left. It was a nightmare. She wondered if her dad ever loved her? "Was it my fault that he left? " Brenda thought to herself.

Brenda's dad did write to her weekly but the letters never reached her. Every time a letter would come to the house, Brenda's mom would take it out of the mailbox and burn it. Her mom was still distraught and held a grudge agains her ex. She didn't want Brenda to endure the pain, so she thought it would be better for her not to have contact with her dad. This went on for years. It was her mother's secret. As Brenda got older and was living on her own as an adult, she researched her dad through social media. She finally found him and after years of no contact, they were finally reunited with one another. It was such a great reunion and both father and daughter were emotional. She asked her dad "why didn't you ever write to me?" ""Of course I wrote to you. You mean you never got the letters?" replied her dad. "No, I never go them. I always thought you forgot about me!" Her father had a suprise look on his face and said "that's not true at all, Brenda. I thought about you every day." Her mom finally confessed that she hid the letters from Brenda all those years. It didn't matter now that she was reunited with her dad and she finally realized that He loved her all along.

Valentine's Day is upon us and many people associate Valentine's Day with romantic love, which is understandable since the origin of Valentine's Day has to do with married couples. But there are other kinds of Love in this life that give us meaning and peace. There is love between a parent and a child, love between friends, unconditional love of a pet, and love for our fellow neighbor (strangers). There is also the love of God. The love of God is different than these kinds of love, although it is similar to a parental kind of love. It's called Agape Love. This love is transcendent; the highest form of love. When we know God's love, we know we are accepted, adored and cherished. Everything seems to make sense in life when we know God's love. When we experience His love, it overflows into our lives and makes us love our spouses more, we are more understanding in our relationships with people and we become more forgiving. This kind of love makes us better people overall.

If we never recieved a parent's love, it impairs our view of love and it becomes skewed. Brenda endured great emotional suffering because she thought her dad didn't love her. She felt rejected, unloved, and uncared for. If this happend to us by one or both parents, then we try to fill that hole with something. This is how we can turn to drugs, food or sex for that fullfillment. But that only leads to lonliness and dissapointment. We don't choose what happens to us as kids. We are born into families that are out of our control. But what we can control, is how we react and respond to life's problems and difficulties. If we had an absent parent, then we are going to think that God is the same way. If we can't trust our parents, then we have problems trusting God. Good news is, that God can make up for our earthly parents. He can be both mom and dad to us.

God reaches out to us daily. Just like Brenda's dad writing letters to her weekly, God is the same way reaching out to us. His love is so powerful, so unconditional that He never gives up on trying to contact us. Sometimes, we don't see it or hear Him reaching out. If we have emotional wounds that need healing, we don't see it. A friend may ask you to go to church with him/her or maybe a co-worker tried talking about Jesus one day, a stranger helped with a task or a friendly hello. All of these gestures, are God's love reaching out to us. When we heal from our emotional wounds, we can see this more clearly and are more open to it. We all have a "God Hole" in our hearts. We are all searching for meaning in life and want happiness. We are truly Happy when we are in right relationship with God. He is the only one that satisfies our souls. Money and power cannot satisy us. They give us temporary happiness, but it doesn't last long.

So, if you you are wondering how to get in right relationship with God, the first thing is to talk with Him in prayer. You can talk to him and tell Him how your day is going, what struggles your going through etc. Contact someone who can help such as a Spiritual Director, or a Spiritual Counselor. Maybe a friend who is Christian and goes ot church on a regular basis.

In conclusion - If you are searching for that unconditional love where you are accepted for who you are, turn to God. He is always there. He will welcome you with open arms, with no judgement, no strings attached. Just pure love and kindness. This Valentine's Day, reach for the highest love, Agape Love which is God.

About the Authour: Donna L. Marotto is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Faith Formation Director in the Diocese of Springfield, and a Lay Franciscan. If you would like to contact her, please email her at or visit her website at

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